Day one of summer break. I’m using this week to Day one of summer break. I’m using this week to ease into our summer routine. Everyone gets to choose when they do their summer reading and their chores. As long as it’s done by the end of the day it’s all good. As for me, I’m working this morning and it looks like our afternoon plans of swimming may not happen with this rain.
.
.
How do you start your summer?  Low and slow or fast and furious?  I’ll pick a winner from the comments for a surprise gift. 
.
.

#swimmingfun #swimday #swimming_pool #summersports #swimforlife #swimtrunks #swim #swimming #swimmingtime #pool #swimmingpooltime #kids #kidscrafts #summersoff #epicadventures #almostbacktoschool #summersofficialpage #outsideisbetter #summeradventure #changeofscenery #freshairandfreedom #familyfuntime #memorymaking #summerbreak #summervibes #longweekend #bringonsummer #funinthesun
First day, last day. One my simple joys in May is First day, last day. One my simple joys in May is seeing how everyone’s kids have changed in the last year. This year I see the biggest change in Peyton from first day to last day!!
On Wednesday’s we wear pink! Last night @blaums On Wednesday’s we wear pink!  Last night @blaumshavemorefun and I went to see Mean Girls at the Saenger Theater. Dinner at Domenica and  French 75’s at The Sazerac…. It was so fetch. Thank you again to @broadwayneworleans for bringing all of these amazing shows to the city!  Can’t wait for next season!! 
.
.
#broadwayinneworleans #meangirls #saengertheatre #meangirlsbroadway #theaternight #girlsnight #onwednesdayswewearpink #youcantsitwithus
4.5 days left of school until we are in our #summe 4.5 days left of school until we are in our #summerofyes. We’ve added a few new things to our summer schedule like me trying a three day work week, art and sports camps, homeschool summer curriculum (more on that later) and season passes to the water park. Summer has become one of my favorite seasons with the kids even though it can be hot and miserable. What are your plans for summer? 
.
.
Swimmie is @target. Coverup is @biglove_fonda. Tan is @planetbeach_mandeville. 
.
.

#brightswimwear #swimsuitshoot #newbikinis #poolfloats #onepieceswimwear #newbikini #swimwear #outfitinspiration #styleoftheday #fashionpost #beachfashion #twopiece #bathingsuits #bikinioftheday #lifeisbetterinabikini #bikini #swimsuit #plussizeswim #boldcurvyfashionista #embracemycurves #plussizeswimsuits #swimsuitsforall #plussizebikini #curvygirlstyle #embraceyourcurves #celebratemycurves #plussizeswimwear
This suit 😍. Y’all know I love a pattern and This suit 😍. Y’all know I love a pattern and this three piece set is just perfect. The skirt is swimmable or you can remove it because it is separate from the bottoms. Liked on @shop.ltk. 
.
.
PS my summer glow is courtesy of @planetbeach_mandeville. 
.
.

#brightswimwear #swimsuitshoot #newbikinis #poolfloats #onepieceswimwear #newbikini #swimwear #outfitinspiration #styleoftheday #fashionpost #beachfashion #twopiece #bathingsuits #bikinioftheday #lifeisbetterinabikini #bikini #swimsuit #plussizeswim #boldcurvyfashionista #embracemycurves #plussizeswimsuits #swimsuitsforall #plussizebikini #curvygirlstyle #embraceyourcurves #celebratemycurves #plussizeswimwear
@walmart has some great summer finds! I rounded u @walmart has some great summer finds!  I rounded up a few of my favorites on @shop.ltk. Make sure you are following me in their app. 
.
.

#welovestyle #runwaylook #fashionbloggerlife #fashionmusthave #womensfashionblog #styleandcurve #fashionplus #plussizebloggersunite #fashionforallsizes #plussizeblogger #plussizefashion #plussizegirls #curvesarebeautiful #plussizebloggers #fashionista #plusclothing #boldcurvyfashionista #curvyfashionstyle #curvestyle #plussizeinfluencer #curvygirlfashion #curvyfashion #curvyfashionista #curvychic #fashioncurvy #boldandcurvy #fashionblogger #ootd #womensstyle #personalstyle
You can have a nice day or you can have family pic You can have a nice day or you can have family pictures. 
.
.
#mothersday #family #mom #momlife #familypics #mandeville #mandevilleblogger #louisiananorthshore #northshore #familypictures #familyphotography #lifewithboys
Mother’s Day can be complicated. I’ve spoken m Mother’s Day can be complicated. I’ve spoken many times about my own relationship with the holiday. For a lot of women this day is hard. I want you to know that I see you and I am holding space for you… if you have a child in foster care, if you placed your baby for adoption, if you are trying to have a baby, if you have lost a baby or child, foster parents, if you are waiting to adopt.  Please know that today you are in my heart. XO. 
.
.
#mothersday #fostercare #adoption #infantloss #childloss
What are your Mother’s Day plans this weekend? What are your Mother’s Day plans this weekend?  Justin asked me what I wanted to do and I said two things. First, I don’t want to make any decisions and second, I want a nice picture where everyone is smiling. LOL to the second one. So tell me your perfect Mother’s Day below. 
.
.

#welovestyle #runwaylook #fashionbloggerlife #fashionmusthave #womensfashionblog #styleandcurve #fashionplus #plussizebloggersunite #fashionforallsizes #plussizeblogger #plussizefashion #plussizegirls #curvesarebeautiful #plussizebloggers #fashionista #plusclothing #boldcurvyfashionista #curvyfashionstyle #curvestyle #plussizeinfluencer #curvygirlfashion #curvyfashion #curvyfashionista #curvychic #fashioncurvy #boldandcurvy #fashionblogger #ootd #womensstyle #personalstyle
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Adoption & Foster Care, At Home, Kids, Life, midlife · May 2, 2022

On Infertility and Mother’s Day

The first time I remember acknowledging how sad Mother’s Day had become for me was about two years before we started fostering. I had gone to Hallmark to pick up a gift and I started looking at these Willow figures. Out of nowhere this lump developed in my throat and I couldn’t breathe. I got out of the store as fast as I could. Why was I freaking out about a holiday that wasn’t even about me? And that is the moment it dawned on me. It should have been. Infertility had changed me.

Our Infertility Story

If you are unfamiliar with our story, I wanted to update you. If you have heard it before you can scroll. The abridged version is this. Justin and I tried for years to conceive a baby. We tried medicine, surgery and doctors and in the end, we decided to give up trying to conceive and adopt. Our infertility was always considered unexplained. We took one year to just make it be all about us. No trying to get pregnant. No talking about kids. Just fun and us. In 2011 we began the foster training process. In 2012 we were placed with our first baby Mother’s Day weekend who was with us less than four days. In July that same year we were placed with our son Peyton who we would later adopt. In 2013 we were placed with two other short term foster placements. In July of the same year, we were approached by an attorney about a private adoption which resulted in us adopting Paxton. Both adoptions were finalized in October of 2014. In March of 2015 Justin and I took a trip alone to California where I came back with a 6 weeklong stomach virus. Never having been pregnant before it took me that long to realize that it was a baby making me throw up daily and not a parasite. At the end of 2015 Porter rounded out the We Five Kings family as the baby and caboose.

Wishes

My relationship with Mother’s Day

Many of us grow about making our lives about others and it is a wonderful way to be. However, when things get hard, rather than being able to lean into that sadness and taking time for ourselves, we feel forced to put on that happy face because it’s not about you. This becomes incredibly complicated for people struggling with infertility. This is a Mother’s Day post but let’s be honest that infertility affects men too and there is even less room allowed for a man to grieve on Father’s Day.

Of all the holidays to navigate while dealing with infertility Mother’s Day is likely the hardest. Especially if you have a mother or grandmother that you want to celebrate it feels selfish to make it about your hurt. There are times to stand up and fight through pain and there are times when it is ok to allow yourself space.

1.It is ok to say no.

I remember one time driving to a baby shower in tears. I was on the phone with a friend telling her how much I didn’t want to go because it was just another reminder of my infertility. She said, “then why are you going? You don’t have to go.” and I didn’t go. You know what, everything was fine too. I sent a gift and a note apologizing about my absence and life went on. The thing is that we guilt ourselves into doing things at times that are not good for our mental health. Especially when you are trying to conceive you should give yourself a break. The world isn’t going to end because you choose to take a moment for yourself to breath.

2. You can be sad.

Again, it is ok to be sad. I don’t know why we need to be told this so many times…and you don’t need to explain why you are sad either. It does not make you weak or emotional or vulnerable or a Debbie downer because you are sad. One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that people only want to be friends with us when we are happy. But let me tell say this. I will take your broken and melancholy any day of the week before I want you to fake happiness for me. Expectations like that do not create real relationships.

3. Grief may not end after a baby arrives.

However, your infertility journey ends you may have residual grief. I have heard people say, “well she is pregnant now why is she still so worked up about everything?” Infertility is an emotional crisis; it is not missing out on the sweater that was on sale at Nordstrom. It is deep and it impacts every part of your life, and it may not be something you just get over immediately. I see parts of my infertility grief peek out from hiding even now almost eight years later. It’s not something that I deal with daily or even monthly but every now and then when I am dealing with a certain emotion I am like, ok I need to acknowledge this because it’s a deep seeded emotion.

There are times that I wish I had the perfect words to tell you. I wish that I could say that I know for sure you are going to get your baby next year. I wish I could tell you that your story ends perfectly. I want to tell you exactly how to get pregnant and end your sadness. But I can’t do that, and it is something that nags at my heart. I want to gather up all of your pain and burden and I want to carry it for you because trying to get pregnant while carrying that load of uncertainty is daunting.

I can tell you this. I know that people can do really hard things. I know that we are capable of living and thriving through sadness. I know that this will not be the end of your story. I know that there is hope and there is love and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Although I can’t tell you when and how it will end, I can tell you that you can survive it and you will be ok.

I strive to keep this space neutral, but I am a Christian and I want to end this post by sharing this verse with you…

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.”

Remember to be still.

XO, Tiffany

In: Adoption & Foster Care, At Home, Kids, Life, midlife · Tagged: adoption and foster care, adoption awareness, family, foster care awareness, foster care questions, infertility, infertility awareness, infertility awareness month, intertile, learning to cope, learning to live with loss, love makes a family, mom, moms day, mother, mother's day, mothering

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Comments

  1. Kristin says

    May 10, 2020 at 2:43 am

    Tiffany… I’ve followed you for a year and have never known your story.
    God used your words to breathe so much truth into my emotions tonight. With the build up of tomorrow, on the heels of my sister telling me on Tuesday that’s she’s pregnant with her 3rd, while my husband and I have been trying for 3 years… I’ve been dreading tomorrow. Dreading seeing my family and sisters- who I dearly love, but don’t get my grief… and don’t ask about it either.
    Without unloading on you- I just wanted to say thank you- for being brave and vulnerable. For “seeing” those who are in a silent and lonely hurricane of a season. God is using you friend- and not just for good sale finds (which I am definitely a fan of lol).
    -Kristin

    Reply
    • wefivekings_8smygv says

      June 18, 2020 at 8:21 am

      I am so sorry I am just responding to this. I don’t know why I didn’t see it until now. Thank you for your words and sharing your story. It is such a complicated road to navigate. You are in my thoughts.

      Reply

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About Me
I'm Tiffany. Although some of my favorite people call me Tippy. My favorite color is pattern. Seriously, I've never met a pattern I didn't like. My style is as bold as my personality and you should never trust my hair color. I am all about size inclusive style on a Nordstrom Sale budget.

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Day one of summer break. I’m using this week to Day one of summer break. I’m using this week to ease into our summer routine. Everyone gets to choose when they do their summer reading and their chores. As long as it’s done by the end of the day it’s all good. As for me, I’m working this morning and it looks like our afternoon plans of swimming may not happen with this rain.
.
.
How do you start your summer?  Low and slow or fast and furious?  I’ll pick a winner from the comments for a surprise gift. 
.
.

#swimmingfun #swimday #swimming_pool #summersports #swimforlife #swimtrunks #swim #swimming #swimmingtime #pool #swimmingpooltime #kids #kidscrafts #summersoff #epicadventures #almostbacktoschool #summersofficialpage #outsideisbetter #summeradventure #changeofscenery #freshairandfreedom #familyfuntime #memorymaking #summerbreak #summervibes #longweekend #bringonsummer #funinthesun
First day, last day. One my simple joys in May is First day, last day. One my simple joys in May is seeing how everyone’s kids have changed in the last year. This year I see the biggest change in Peyton from first day to last day!!
On Wednesday’s we wear pink! Last night @blaums On Wednesday’s we wear pink!  Last night @blaumshavemorefun and I went to see Mean Girls at the Saenger Theater. Dinner at Domenica and  French 75’s at The Sazerac…. It was so fetch. Thank you again to @broadwayneworleans for bringing all of these amazing shows to the city!  Can’t wait for next season!! 
.
.
#broadwayinneworleans #meangirls #saengertheatre #meangirlsbroadway #theaternight #girlsnight #onwednesdayswewearpink #youcantsitwithus
4.5 days left of school until we are in our #summe 4.5 days left of school until we are in our #summerofyes. We’ve added a few new things to our summer schedule like me trying a three day work week, art and sports camps, homeschool summer curriculum (more on that later) and season passes to the water park. Summer has become one of my favorite seasons with the kids even though it can be hot and miserable. What are your plans for summer? 
.
.
Swimmie is @target. Coverup is @biglove_fonda. Tan is @planetbeach_mandeville. 
.
.

#brightswimwear #swimsuitshoot #newbikinis #poolfloats #onepieceswimwear #newbikini #swimwear #outfitinspiration #styleoftheday #fashionpost #beachfashion #twopiece #bathingsuits #bikinioftheday #lifeisbetterinabikini #bikini #swimsuit #plussizeswim #boldcurvyfashionista #embracemycurves #plussizeswimsuits #swimsuitsforall #plussizebikini #curvygirlstyle #embraceyourcurves #celebratemycurves #plussizeswimwear
This suit 😍. Y’all know I love a pattern and This suit 😍. Y’all know I love a pattern and this three piece set is just perfect. The skirt is swimmable or you can remove it because it is separate from the bottoms. Liked on @shop.ltk. 
.
.
PS my summer glow is courtesy of @planetbeach_mandeville. 
.
.

#brightswimwear #swimsuitshoot #newbikinis #poolfloats #onepieceswimwear #newbikini #swimwear #outfitinspiration #styleoftheday #fashionpost #beachfashion #twopiece #bathingsuits #bikinioftheday #lifeisbetterinabikini #bikini #swimsuit #plussizeswim #boldcurvyfashionista #embracemycurves #plussizeswimsuits #swimsuitsforall #plussizebikini #curvygirlstyle #embraceyourcurves #celebratemycurves #plussizeswimwear
@walmart has some great summer finds! I rounded u @walmart has some great summer finds!  I rounded up a few of my favorites on @shop.ltk. Make sure you are following me in their app. 
.
.

#welovestyle #runwaylook #fashionbloggerlife #fashionmusthave #womensfashionblog #styleandcurve #fashionplus #plussizebloggersunite #fashionforallsizes #plussizeblogger #plussizefashion #plussizegirls #curvesarebeautiful #plussizebloggers #fashionista #plusclothing #boldcurvyfashionista #curvyfashionstyle #curvestyle #plussizeinfluencer #curvygirlfashion #curvyfashion #curvyfashionista #curvychic #fashioncurvy #boldandcurvy #fashionblogger #ootd #womensstyle #personalstyle
You can have a nice day or you can have family pic You can have a nice day or you can have family pictures. 
.
.
#mothersday #family #mom #momlife #familypics #mandeville #mandevilleblogger #louisiananorthshore #northshore #familypictures #familyphotography #lifewithboys
Mother’s Day can be complicated. I’ve spoken m Mother’s Day can be complicated. I’ve spoken many times about my own relationship with the holiday. For a lot of women this day is hard. I want you to know that I see you and I am holding space for you… if you have a child in foster care, if you placed your baby for adoption, if you are trying to have a baby, if you have lost a baby or child, foster parents, if you are waiting to adopt.  Please know that today you are in my heart. XO. 
.
.
#mothersday #fostercare #adoption #infantloss #childloss
What are your Mother’s Day plans this weekend? What are your Mother’s Day plans this weekend?  Justin asked me what I wanted to do and I said two things. First, I don’t want to make any decisions and second, I want a nice picture where everyone is smiling. LOL to the second one. So tell me your perfect Mother’s Day below. 
.
.

#welovestyle #runwaylook #fashionbloggerlife #fashionmusthave #womensfashionblog #styleandcurve #fashionplus #plussizebloggersunite #fashionforallsizes #plussizeblogger #plussizefashion #plussizegirls #curvesarebeautiful #plussizebloggers #fashionista #plusclothing #boldcurvyfashionista #curvyfashionstyle #curvestyle #plussizeinfluencer #curvygirlfashion #curvyfashion #curvyfashionista #curvychic #fashioncurvy #boldandcurvy #fashionblogger #ootd #womensstyle #personalstyle
May the 4th be with you. . . #throwback #maythe4t May the 4th be with you.
.
. 
#throwback #maythe4thbewithyou #starwars

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