To my Oldest Son Peyton…

Today you are five.  FIVE.  I am not even sure how we got here.  People tell you it goes so fast and it always sounded cliche to me but here I am with a five year old and I feel like ten minutes ago you were a baby.

I have had the benefit as a mother to have completely different experiences with you and your brothers.  All of your stories are different and complicated and exciting in their own way.  However you are the child who taught me and continues to teach me how strong I am.  Before you I thought I was strong but because of you I now know I am strong.  And determined.  And full of hope.

I was never guaranteed to be your mom.  Even though I wanted it so badly I knew that there was no guarantee.  For the first time in my life I was completely reliant on what God wanted.  I have always put my faith in him but because of you I was put into a situation where it was my only choice.

I loved you and cared for you and raised you for two years before I ever knew that I would be your mother.

Daily I am impressed by the person you are growing into.  You challenge every step of the way but I love that together we are molding your personality and refining your spirit.  Strong willed and defiant at times I see all of the possibility for the traits of a leader.  Although there are days that you push me to my limit I am excited to see what all of this spunk has to offer you as an adult.

You are fun to be with and the way you experience things with full force makes me enjoy things in a new way.  you are kind and empathetic and you strive to make people laugh and happy.  You are the most wonderful big brother I could ever ask you to be.  Attentive and loving and you teach them how to do things the right way.

You are so smart.  I am constantly impressed with how much you know and want to know.  You are special in your abilities and you work hard.  You love to do well and to be the best.  I love watching you strive to do well and encourage others along the way.

I love that you continue to teach me that love sees no color and that love makes a family.  I never had to teach you how to respond when people ask questions about our unique family.  You give simple, sweet answers.  No coaching could ever teach you that because you respond from your heart.  You are proud of your brothers and you are proud to be their brother.  “Brown and Pink we are just brothers momma.”

This year brings new adventures as we will navigate real school for the first time.  I am excited and nervous but I know that you will go in there guns blazing and set the path that is best for you.  I know we are all just along for the ride but what an exciting ride it will be.

I love you so my son.  First born.  Baby I prayed and worked for the hardest.  I love you to the ends of the earth.

Love,

Mommy